Some thoughts

I really like this blog, guys. It could be nicer, but I am just happy with esquire theme for now.

I really like my pictures that I took about 5 years ago. I still putting up pictures that I took around that period because I like them. I don’t know why my pictures that I took later looked so bad, I looked really fat, seriously. I was so happy of my pictures that I take pictures much less than before, and not because I think and see that I looked fat.

I went to the gym on two occassions. It was hopeless. I was not enthusiastic as with some other things that I prefer to do. The members at the second recreation center said that I looked fine and that I shouldn’t go to the gym, but I told them that I feel and see that I am really big. And then, I remembered that it was coming from my computer. I was setting it up with magnifier and stuff, and it likes to see me using some sort of mirror. I still see that I look big and I ran out of clothes to wear.

I hate to do outside activities because I can’t fit into my clothes. It is not easy to find clothes anymore, my favorite shops had moved and now closed. Anyway, I ran into trouble of finding the right outfit to wear to church even.

Present predicament

I am not sure why I was so worried of not getting married on time. I assumed I should be married by 30, it’s the right age. However, somewhere along the line, I told someone that I thought I should get married by the time I got to 40 years old.

Nonetheless, I think I was married at the right time. I need to move out of my current predicament. I was at a hopeless end and I know I have babies on the way, regardless of how rich and how much more memory I got knowing that I am royal by birth and my husband is royal and big, too. I suppose I need to get things in order to get where I want. I am still broke as always until my money get here. (Hooray!)

I thought it was hopeless to visit the hospital for my mental health. I don’t know why they keep on contacting me as if I don’t make enough effort to see them. I hate it! I hate to think that I am sick. I am not sick.  Also, I keep ending at the hospital and stay there for at least a month or so. I hate it there. There are more annoying things that follow (usually), but I am not bothered to mention it. It is not worth it.

I know I am in a relationship with some guys, not typical. But I don’t really see them either. Their presents are in my stuffed animals that I bought for myself. They talked to me in my head, and I always thought it was weird to communicate back with my thoughts. How can that be real? It is real. I usually talk to myself, and not my stuffed animals. It is one of those weird, real feelings.

I keep on running into thoughts for years now that I am running into trouble of having money to spend when I am in need. I ran into situations that got me ended up in the hospital for treatment. I don’t know why or how they know where I am in order to take me back to the hospital, but it was getting really, really annoying. But that is still better than staying in the shelter much longer.

I thought it was safe to stay in the hospital, especially when I am about to have babies with me. But it’s rough, not a good environment. I cannot have my children anywhere there.

I hope my thoughts are complete as I am uncertain with my writing still.

Love ya,

Chau

Married life updates

I hope you enjoyed reading my prayer and love letter to my husband. I don’t usually make up prayer, I thought that could be my first. I just like to recite prayers. I don’t keep up with that many prayers anymore.

I wrote a letter to my husband that I don’t see and live with. It doesn’t feel real to me that he is around, so I had to make my mark to receive his present. He is a great guy, I hope you enjoyed his present. I am not even sure how to explain to him that I am not used to having an imaginary husband walking around my house. He does that like it’s normal but I am not used to imaginary thing. I want everything to be as “real” where I can see and touch. I just don’t understand how anyone can live like that. He’s not the only one that walk around with imaginary figure. But I guess I have to get used to it since I found out I still need time to adjust to a new life, that is married. I hate to wait and rely on another person. I am not even sure I know what I am getting myself into. I just wanted to get married because I was almost 30. However, I was being pushed into the marriage because he and I were being naughty. I can tell he likes me a lot and so I readily talk to him first actually, according to my memory.

I got the wedding I wanted, and many of them in one year. I am very excited!

The only thing I am worried is that other people doesn’t believe me married when I don’t hear anything talk back. Oh right, I am not crazy; we were married in person. However, I can’t seem to remember him at all. And then I was being reminded that I have people working for me and they might do things I am not aware of knowingly because it’s not in my thoughts/head. But I will be able to remember it later.

Anyway, I thought I share some of my thoughts since it’s killing me thinking about stuff that I can’t really put into words.

 

 

Update

I love how everything is working out right now. I have houses that I love and going to move in. They are everything I wanted. I want to put everything nice, cool and modern in the house for my family. I am going to use all of the houses; there are more than one building for one property. My husband said there are over 25 big building, each with very big room, and there are over 1000 rooms for one building—just enough for all of the children to live in the houses.

I have many children. I am very happy that they are extremely bright and intelligent, just like their parents. The children inherit me. They have a dad by marriage. I don’t want to be selfish, but I am very happy that they are all mine, not inherit my husband’s blood (heheh).

I like that I am self-sufficient and a self made man. It doesn’t look like it, but it’s true. I have a lot of successful businesses. I made a few more the last five years. They are going very well and surprisingly rich and successful. I am really excited to give some of my wealth to my children. They are just babies now, but I can imagine they use it for great causes.

 

“Fans”

Hi everyone,

I just want you to know I hate the word: fans. I want to have a much better label but I am lack the words right now. And so I don’t know what to tell you guys.

I am very happy and excited to collect a vast group of people that adore and admire me, especially the last five years. I am truly lucky and blessed because I have high opinion of you (everyone).

Thank you for being there for me, especially when I needed the most. I am sorry I went away for two years to start another life when everything good is already here.

Thank you for your love and support.

Socializing

I must be aware that my fans are very intelligent and talented so that I can accept your “gifts” or things. I know the quote below sounds familiar even though I don’t know the author.

I enjoy communicating with the fans and people when I can. I don’t like to talk to anyone new, so I don’t try to create new connection or talking to new people. However, it is more fun in some cases.

I have not been great at socializing. I hope you don’t mind. I think it’s my health (if you caught up with the news).

I am an adult and smart. I don’t need help (even though I don’t have a car).

 

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.—Joseph Campbell

Time goes by so fast!!!  I just enjoyed Lunar New Year.  It has not passed yet, and now Valentine’s Day.  Yes!!!

Yes!!! Valentine’s Day is in two weeks!!! I hope everyone will have a great V-Day!!!!

I like my internet personality. It is so outgoing and perfect.

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